Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Hi, Ernie here. My mom asked me to dictate this post to her because she is feeling lazy and uninspired. I don’t know what that means, but whatever.

So, I am 10 years old. I was born in Kentucky and I live in Kentucky. What’s a Kentucky?

So, I said my mom, but she is not my biological mom. I had a yellow mom and all my siblings were yellow except for me and one other sibling. We were both chocolate but I can’t eat chocolate so that’s pretty dumb.

Speaking of eating, I really love ice cream and string cheese. I kinda go a bit crazy if my mom has one of those things.

So, back to my story…this lady and two short people and one tall person came and saw me when I was 6 weeks old. They seemed pretty excited. They came back and took me away when I was 8 weeks old. I heard the name “Archie” a lot. Apparently he was my big brother because he lived there before I did. I got to use some of his old toys so that is pretty cool.

My toxic trait is that I steal and kill any and all balls that are left on my playground. Yeah, I said “my playground”. I run that place. My humans open my gate and I hold my head high as I look over my kingdom.

I really like Christmas. I learned that I get stuff in a giant sock. I never ate any of my humans’ socks, shoes, and mom said I didn’t destroy anything. She tells me a lot that I’m a good boy.

I get really hot in the summer, but I love to swim. I get to go on this loud machine and then I get to swim and it’s really fun.

I love a good nap. I like my old bed. My humans got me a new bed next to their bed, but that’s stupid. Why would I use that when I can sleep with them?

I’m no dummy. This is the best napping place in the house.

Mom takes me on a walk when she gets home. We go to the tennis center or to the baseball field at her school or just walk around the hood. I don’t really care because the smells are freaking amazing wherever we go.

At the end of the walk, I do my roll. It feels great.

My Dad comes home about two naps after that and then we go to work. I have to check to see what has happened on the playground since 6:15 am was a long time ago.

I do my rounds and say hi to Hudson, Maisie, Skylar, Bailey, and then Teddy. JJ and Lola are super annoying so I don’t really do much with them. I don’t understand why most of them are in jail. I run free, and like I said, I run this place.

Teddy gets to come out and run free, too. He’s so crazy, man!

I go inside to eat my dinner and then I go and see what my mom and dad have to eat. If I look really cute, there is a chance that I might get something.

Here’s me looking cute:

I take another nap or two and then I go tell my dad it’s time to get on the floor and play. He really needs me to play with him.

I go to bed around 8:30. I have a king sized bed and it’s really comfortable. My mom tries to sleep in my spot and it’s pretty rude. I have to get up at 6:15 to be ready to check my playground so I need my sleep.

Do you have any friends I might like?

Woof,

Ernie

21 thoughts on “Guest Post

  1. Well, it’s official. I have a new favorite blogger named Ernie. Sorry, friend, he has taken over my favorite spot! Seriously, how adorable was this? What a great idea…I kind of wish I’d thought to do that here. I have written a couple of children’s books from our dog Crash’s POV that I haven’t published yet…I’ve just never thought of doing a blog post like that. This reminds me of when we used to go to kids camp with our sons- Drew would always write us letter from Crash. It was the cutest thing ever.

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  2. Hi, Ernie! Your cousins Johnny and Finley have a message for you:

    “mrrrrrrRRRRRRREEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!! *hisssssssss* *spthhhhht spthhhhht*”

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  3. I love this! When I started teaching 30 years ago, my dad would write letters as his dog Beau to my class. My students loved to hear from him and Wood, right back to him in their journals. I honestly think some of them thought the dog was really writing the letters :-). He was a great penpal!

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  4. Hi Ernie! Fantastic post! I have a friend for you named Doc! His whole name is Dr Mayhem because he was the hardest pup in the world to train, but now he is the sweetest boy. He’s a 5 year old westie and pretty much has the same schedule as you. He patrols our yard keeping birds and bunnies out and barks at delivery trucks and garbage trucks. His favorite summer pastime is swimming in our pool and he has his own boogie board to float around on. He loves people and other doggies and would be a good friend!

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  5. I love this, Ernie is so cute! The pic of him curled up on the chair is too precious! I have a chihuahua/Japanese chin mix (very random!) and he is the most unique and smart dog, we all adore him!

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  6. Ernie! OMG! ❤ ❤ ❤ Congratulations to the best post on your blog ever! 😀
    He really is the cutest dog, you are so lucky to have him!

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