August 27, 2026
Blogging is cheaper than therapy, so why not pour out some thoughts here? Ha!
I really struggle with how much to say here since my kids didn’t sign up to be the subject of my blog, but they have told me they really don’t mind if I talk about them without going too personal, of course.
I know many of you have been through this stage of parenting, are in it now, or will be, though.
We just had a big transition and that is the reason for today’s post…
If you don’t want to read much, just scroll to the end of the post, but for those who want more background…
Let’s go back a bit. I have twin boys who are a couple of weeks from turning 24. Parenting them was so fun and relatively easy until college, really. They are sweet, smart, loving, and funny – really funny. Tom and I had never laughed so hard until we had kids; I think he would agree with me. They really never got in trouble, either. I hate to say “they” with twins because they are individuals, but they were very similar in hobbies and abilities so it’s hard not to say “they”.
It became clear in high school that while both of our kids were good at science and math, they enjoyed English, Spanish, History, Great Books, Choir, and Theatre classes the most. They lost March until May of senior year, 2020 and I remember them both deciding on which college they would attend right after school shut down. That was a crazy time. By the way, I was their senior AP Spanish teacher, and their other teachers were my long-time colleagues and friends. I had a front row seat that is unique; not many parents know their high schoolers’ day as well as I got to.
High school graduation was non-existent for us.
Here is college graduation in May 2024:
Without knowing which college the other picked (such a twin thing!), they both picked a small liberal arts college here in our city and Tom and I were thrilled. The college scholarships they received made it so that it would be cheaper than our state schools, too. We were relieved because they would be close but get to live on campus and it was a global pandemic so being close seemed to make sense to us. Remember the uncertainty of this time? We didn’t know what would happen with the pandemic. We were told students would have to quarantine at an off campus site? or could be sent home. It was just all really scary.
Tom wanted to dictate what they majored in and what would be a good career path. I felt like they should study what they were passionate about and it would all work out in the end. Of course, I was also worried about a career path, but I had faith that it would work out. Even when I was in college from 1990-1994, if you majored in a humanity, you most likely wouldn’t be working in that field. Or, you would have to get a graduate degree to do so. I have friends who majored in political science, anthropology, etc. Those people have either gotten lucky in an unrelated job field or a couple are still job hopping all over the place in their 50s. I majored in Spanish, but did secondary education along with it, so I had my career path set and had no trouble finding my first teaching job just a month after graduating from college.
I was also worried about their mental health. I wanted them to be healthy, happy, and fulfilled and not only was it a hard time in our country and city and that affected this age group.
Jack ended up majoring in vocal music performance and minoring in theatre. Mason ended up majoring in philosophy and minoring in theatre. Jack taught voice and guitar lessons alongside other part-time gigs for some time but now he is a supervisor in retail and had to stop teaching because it was too much with his retail job full time hours.
Mason has held some part-time retail positions and subbed k-12. He tried his hand as a reader/talent/voice for audio books, too, and still plans to do more of that. He was doing ok but he wasn’t doing great. His favorite weekly activity was meeting with his college professor that he’s kept in touch with and discussing a particular book.
For both of them, I have spent some time worrying about how long these jobs will be sustainable. They were both able to move out with a roommate. There is no way they could live alone right now.
I’m telling you that it’s hard out there. The cost of everything has gone up so much. These 20 somethings have it harder than I did, I think.
I know that Jack has a teaching talent. He had talked about how exciting it was when his voice and guitar students did well. I think he might get back to that eventually and I hope he does. The retail hours are brutal. He works every weekend and has off on two weekdays. The store is open very late because it’s a gaming/hobby store. He can’t even do dinner with us on days he works and has had to miss family things over the past year.
I feel like Mason also would be a great teacher because he is passionate about books and loves to discuss them. He is also a great writer. He has a great voice that I think would be good for students, too. Unfortunately, subbing totally turned him off about anything in grades k-12.
So…
Mason applied and got accepted to a graduate program right at the end of college and we convinced him to take a year and work. A year passed, he applied and got accepted again, and he told us this is still what he wanted to do.
Mason moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico on Monday! He is attending St. John’s College which also has a campus in Annapolis, Maryland. He thinks his ultimate goal is to become a college professor.
Some views from his graduate dorm:
Common room:
He didn’t want any help getting set up but we hope he wants us to visit soon!
Amy
Coffee and Cocktails at the Casa 
Wow! What a huge step. I hope his graduate program goes well and opens more doors for him. How neat that they have graduate dorms. So few places seem to. I always thought it would be so neat to be a college professor (or really work at a college in any capacity– admissions, student life, etc.)… in fact I nearly applied for a full time job at the college Evan is currently attending.
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Thank you. I felt better that he would have a dorm room in graduate housing and a meal plan. I wanted to apply at their college, too. Everyone seems to really like working there.
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How exciting! Hope all goes well :).
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Thank you! Me too!
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I hope everything goes well!
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Thank you so much!
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I think it’s so wise that you and Tom had him wait for a year before deciding to do this. It was a huge step of faith for him to go so far away, but if anyone can do well at this, it’s Mason. I pray that things are easy for him there, and that he finds a great group of people to become involved with. That scenery is gorgeous!
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I agree. After a year, he still wanted to try it. Nothing is forever. I thank you for those sentiments. He has had a pretty rough couple of years after college.
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Great job Mama. It is never easy. We wish we could direct their paths- the hardest part is letting go- I am learning that first hand. I am sure they will thrive with the foundations you and Tom have given them. How exciting for Mason- hope you get to visit soon 🙂
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I know, right? It’s so hard. Mason has texted a lot which has made me happy. I feel more in the loop.
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Congratulations to Mason! How exciting for him. I know what an adjustment it can be for you though, having a child in another state is a whole new experience. It sounds like he will make a wonderful professor!
xo,
Kellyann
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Thank you! I was a little sad but I’m doing ok. He is texting a lot so that makes me happy. Yes, you do know this well!
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Hi Amy!
Well, that is big big news! I’m sure that was very hard for you! Thats a great blog post. I don’t have kids but I like to read about parenting through mom’s eyes. I hope Mason does great there!
Cheers! Missy
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Thank you, Missy!
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Oh man!! From a mama of a 24 yo boy who moved to AL in November, then Houston in May, I FEEL this. It’s so hard. I will say at least you have a communicative son. You will hear from him, and have FaceTimes, calls and texts. Noah occasionally gives one of my texts a thumbs up. Not communicative with us anyway. It’s heart wrenching but it’s also incredibly satisfying to see them live their lives and follow their dreams. Even so damn far away. Sending you a big bear hug.
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I know you get it! I haven’t gotten a FaceTime or a call yet – only texts. I’m trying to step back but it’s hard!
It sounds like Noah is doing great and that’s what we work so hard for is for them to be independent but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard on us.
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That is awesome for Mason!! New Mexico is beautiful and I hope he enjoys his time there. Yes, I have worried about all of my kids and their long term job situation mainly because of AI. My two oldest kids have good jobs but are always thinking about whether AI could replace part of what they do. My youngest us in law school and she thinks AI won’t completely remove humans from the field of law. I agree with you. I think they have it much harder than we do. 😕
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My eldest is a couple of weeks being off 24 and that age group missed out on so much because of the pandemic. Well done to your boys, you must be so proud of them. I hope Mason’s graduate program goes well.
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I remember the college and post college years being some of the most challenging as a parent and I often found myself longing for the issues we faced of young kids (when we were in control of everything)… LOL! It’s so important to let our young adult kids spread their wings but it takes a lot of trust, too. It seems like both of your boys have good heads on their shoulders and they have a strong support system and those are such huge assets! I’m sure it’s a bittersweet time for you as the mama but what a great experience for Mason. Wishing both of your sons all the best as they continue to discover and figure out their next steps!
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That’s so exciting! What a big change for him. and you! And a new place for you to visit. What is he studying? I was relating so much to your talk about the 2020 graduation. We DID have a ceremony that summer, but the whole situation had so many effects on the students. I really feel that Grace may have picked a different university if she had been able to complete her visits in the spring.
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That’s so exciting for Mason! I always wanted to be a college professor and thought, seriously, about getting my PhD. In some ways, parenting your adult kids is the hardest time. They’re adults and need to make their own decisions, but they’re still your kids.
I’m so sorry they didn’t get to celebrate their high school graduations. I remember thinking how horrible that was for kids. But, how cool you were able to be so involved in their high school careers!
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
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How exciting for Mason! I love that you briefly shared the push-and-pull of wanting your college kids to major in something immediately employable in their major v following their passion.
It’s so tough and the worries are real – mine is a double major in Music Comp and Ed. He can “fall back” on teaching (even though he’s SUCH a teacher at heart so it wouldn’t be much of a fall) if needed but I also worry about related arts cuts as budgets continue to shrink in public ed. Ultimately though, we didn’t want ours to pursue something that would make a miserable career that they always looked back and regretted.
Was that the right decision? Only time will tell!
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Way to go Mason for being so brave to step out and do something new in a new place, but I know that is a HUGE transition for everyone. It is hard out there for these young kids to make and heck, for people in my stage who are trying to make it on their own too. In that younger picture of the boys, they look so much like Tom!
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Amy, wow, so much to say about this post. It’s HARD parenting these kids, right? Not just the physical toll when they were younger, but then the seasons where you don’t feel as connected or when you find out the don’t like the same things you do or think the same way as you. I think getting to see their talents and cheer them on as they pursue them kind of makes up for the “dreams that die” when they turn into different people then you thought they might. It all works out! To me it’s so FUN to watch my kiddos try their hands at new things, teach me about life through their experiences, and, yes, so.many.times I wish I could step in an make a different decision for them but, alas, no longer. Just a few mornings ago I said to my daughter, “I think you need to set up some boundaries. I can no longer protect you and your heart like I once could. It’s on you to recognize what’s happening around you and maybe step back”. That’s all I can do, right? I hope, of course, that everything works out – ten years ago we could put limits on the amount of time/exposure she had to people or shows or music or whatever but now they are on their own. And C*D, man, that really was unfair to these kiddos – yours and mine both gradutated that year and it was just unfair all the way around. All of mine were in some sort of place that, had the world NOT shut down, may be living different lives/choices, but maybe not. We’ll never know. Again, something that can’t be changed but has made them stronger in some areas then they might have otherwise been. It definitely also changed our economy!! They will figure it out, just like we did 🙂
I love that you gave this backstory today – it makes me feel “not so alone” in this parenting journey which never really ends (thankfully), right? I love his new space – and the new and different culture and landscape will be fun to learn about too! {{hugs}}
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P.S. I just talked to a new coworker the other day – he’s in his 20’s and doesn’t have any idea that I used to be a classroom teacher. I asked him how he ended up in audit – he went to school to be a band and history teacher. When I asked why he’s not doing that he went on to tell me “how schools are not a good place to be right now” and how disappointed he was in what he “thought” teaching was and what it actually is. It made my heart so, so sad because I KNOW he would have been SO good in either of those those roles. Lucky to have him at the bank, of course, but the impact he could have had in education. . . it just makes me incredibly sad – not only for the students, but also for these kiddos/now adults who would have been phenomenal if they could have experienced being in education in the 80’s and 90’s. Things will change, but I fear we’re losing a generation of teachers in the meantime 😦
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