Tuesday, November 11, 2025
Today I thought we would just do a chatty post as if we are sitting down to have a coffee together. I am going to pick a few topics. Sorry I can’t ask you questions, but you can leave me comments! This might be interesting to exactly no one!
Retirement – It’s weird. I feel like I’m on a weird long summer break, I guess. I miss the kids. I miss conjugating verbs and the actual teaching. I don’t miss the bs. Last Monday my former school had a teacher day, and I was going to go visit for maybe 30 minutes, but the agenda was so packed full, and their lunch break was an organized soup cook-off. Maybe it was too soon to visit anyway. I keep in touch with only 3 teachers other than social media. When one of them sent me the agenda for the day I felt so thankful that I was done with all the trainings, meetings, and other things to justify the administrations’ jobs. Boom!
Adult kid at home/adult kid moved out – The one who moved out seems to be doing really well. He comes to do laundry once a week and we visit. I try to be home. The one still at home seems to be ok with this shift in their relationship and they have been going out a bit. He spent the night at his brother’s apartment one night recently because they hung out late. That always makes me happy. I think the holidays will feel weird if they aren’t both spending the night on Christmas Eve. I guess at some point things adapt and change but change is hard.
Holidays – Speaking of the holidays…I’m not excited at all. I am sad. I will not get to see my family at Thanksgiving this year. We have booked an Airbnb for after Christmas in my hometown and hopefully I will get more excited about that. Everything will feel different this year. Every year we did my mom and dad’s house on the Friday after Thanksgiving with all 17 of us, including my mom and dad. It was a crowd. Then, it was 16 after my Dad passed, then Kate ditched her man, and it was 15. Lol. Then, we also gathered the day after Christmas at my mom and dad’s house and again, the numbers dwindled somewhat. I guess soon we will have significant others join our family. Now, Tom and I are the oldest and as I have told my sisters, “I AM THE MATRIARCH”.
Selling my mom’s house – So, we got the inspection report, and the buyers wanted us to pay for a new roof. It’s just the original roof on a 19-year-old house but there isn’t significant damage. My sisters and I decided to say yes rather than continue to go back and forth more about how much we would give them toward the roof. Now, we await a closing date. But also…we have to get an EIN (employee identification number) from the IRS in order to open a bank account for the trust in my mom’s name that technically owns the house. Trust me when I say that I have learned so much about trusts – pun intended. Still, I can’t help but be so grateful for the relative ease of this whole process and how well my sisters and I worked together. This is a testament to our parents.
My routine – I would say I am settling into more of a routine. I do go out in my car most days. I try to avoid school traffic and run my errands or do my appointments around 10-11. I am usually home by lunch time, and I stay home during the school rush which is like 2:30-4. Eddie Otis is still crated when I leave because he can’t be trusted. We try not to leave him crated for more than a few hours. He does love his crate and regularly sleeps in it with the door open when we are home.
Socializing – I try to plan a social activity with a friend once a week. I try not to over plan because my social battery doesn’t have a long life. It probably never did.
Fall Bucket List – I did pretty well. There were some things I didn’t care much about doing anymore, but overall, I did really well. I was most proud of myself for learning the ropes of taking EO to the dog park by myself. I was scared he would be too wild.
Not on my list, but I was also proud of myself for finishing my mom’s Storyworth book and getting it published. It has arrived and I plan to surprise my sisters and my mom’s siblings with their copy at Christmas.
I did not technically make the full German meal that was on my list, but this weekend Tom and I are doing a German cooking class at the German American Club. We bought the cookbook from the old German restaurant that shut down. The German family that owned the restaurant created the most beautiful book and they are the ones teaching the class. Tom and I are gonna learn to make some schnitzel!
I think I had a fun fall!
I plan to do another bucket list for the rest of November and December.
Wardrobe – I take a body shower (as opposed to an “everything shower” which I do at night) every morning and actually get dressed. I think it’s good for me. I do need better winter lounge clothes, and I have been saying this for years so maybe it will happen finally. What’s nice is that I need less stuff now. I am trying some traditional sweatpants from AE/Aerie. I am excited to have some cozy pants after being so cold Sunday and Monday!
If you are still here, I am sure your coffee is cold! Now, it’s your turn to talk!
Amy
Coffee and Cocktails at the Casa 
I love our coffee talks! Cheers to you, my friend. I would want to talk in person more about your retirement and those feelings. I’d also love to chat about your sweatpants! I feel like we always have lots to catch up on. I’m sorry you’re feeling sad about Christmas; that was me last year. I am here if you need to chat; I know the situations are a little different, but it was a rough one losing both my dad and my husband. I look back and see the pictures and realize how fake my smile was in all of them. I was barely hanging on! I know this one will be hard, but they will get easier. That’s the thing about life that is beautiful and a conundrum. Guess what? I’m taking Friday off to be with Mare as she goes through her home one last time. Maybe we can chat that morning and catch up since I’ll be home? Love you, friend.
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Thanks for this chatty post. I feel you on when one kid is home and one isn’t. I had that situation last year and it took some getting used to. I totally get it on the sadness of Christmas. We won’t be home this year but in Arkansas with my husband’s family which is a first. We got an Air BNB and contemplating getting a pop of Christmas tree. Good for you on the bucket list. I need to do one for Christmas!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
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My Dr. Pepper Zero Sugar has stayed temperate so we’re all good! I can really see how’d you miss a lot about school (also NOT at all some things!). I have never averaged subbing more than three days a week and yet when I don’t do it for a while, I genuinely start to miss not know what the students are learning in, say Social Studies, and I miss seeing the staff that I like a lot. You are getting quite a bit done at home and you’re getting out, socializing. From my end, you’re killing retirement!!
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I commend you on how well you have transitioned and adjusted- I know it can’t be easy- I am sure your boys will always be close- you have done such a great job with them- just trust it 🙂
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This was fun!!!
Glad you are enjoying retirement – it’s amazing how busy you can stay, right? And to think you used to do ALL THIS PLUS the schoolwork. And although I know you miss some of the people you work with, time is a funny thing – they have been moving forward as you stepped out so you would be surprised how much you probably wouldn’t have enjoyed that lunch at school – keep the friends you have and flourish in your new life!!
We could have a long conversation on adult kids at home/adult kids moving out. . .what a strange season of life, right? Especially if we didn’t experience it as an adult living with our parents (I didn’t). I think boundaries and expectations have been the most difficult for us.
I think you’re smart for doing the roof on your mom’s house and being “done” with it – the stress of hanging on is a lot. And I know you are thankful to have the time and can do a lot of this work for your sisters. You all should be proud of how you’ve worked together through this – not every family is as lucky as you, even with parents that promoted togetherness their entire lives. It takes effort on ALL sides. The holidays will be hard without the usual traditions. . .glad you have something planned for after Thanksgiving.
Have fun in your German cooking class and report back!
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Thank you for your long and thoughtful response. I often think how special this blog world is and that I get more support here than in my real life. I can’t remember the last time a friend asked how I am handling this. That might sound mean/bad but I am saying it in a grateful way for this community.
We would have lots to talk about I am sure!
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I can just imagine how you don’t miss all the packed agenda’s and the drama which comes with it.
My eldest is 23 and I am dreading the day she decides to move out, she is saving to buy a house so it will be a while. I am glad your son is doing well and his the shift in your son’s relationship sounds good.
Sending love and hugs. I hope the holidays are not too sad for you. I am glad things are moving forward with the sale of your mom’s house. The Storyworth book is something so special.
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I know! It’s the hardest! I will be thinking of you, too.
Thank you so much!
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I will have to look into Storyworth. That would be a great gift for my parents for Christmas or birthday!
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I will show pictures of my completed book! Will try to remember for Friday! Absolutely. I bet they would love to tell their stories. They might need tech help.
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I have been retired for years and love it! I do remember the first year, missing the kids (I was a teacher too) and the social aspect of my job. But I kept in touch with many and still do.
I made it a point to join Clubs and stay social and active.
My kids are grown adult men, and I am a grandmother to one adorable 16-month-old. Life gets better and better. And I have gained a daughter! (My son’s beautiful wife.)
I do miss them as we go to our winter home (they are back in the Midwest). But we have a big gathering with family at our place and call it ThanksChristmas! It’s wonderful!
I wear less jewelry now, as it doesn’t go well with yoga pants and activewear. Lol!
I hope you find new ways to enjoy the Holidays and continue to enjoy all your new/old activities. Keep life fun!
Thanks for the coffee. It was delicious!
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It’s weird when you become the oldest generation of your family. When we moved, our holiday traditions changed, too. Unfortunately, that’s part of living…accepting the changes no trying to embrace them. We’ve had two of our three kids move back in a couple of times for different reasons. Our daughter and her baby moved in when she was pregnant because her husband would be deployed, and they lived in Virginia. It was actually really nice having a house full of little ones. My youngest moved in and out when he sold his house in Lafayette. This will be the first year he’ll have his own little family for the holidays so I don’t know if our Christmas Eve tradition of going to church together will go away or not.
I definitely didn’t miss the meetings that should have been emails when I retired. When I did finally go back to the school, I just felt like I was in an in between world…not really a part but always a part of that school. Thanks for the coffee, though I did have a protein shake instead.
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
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change is good…. You do get used to your grown kids starting thier own lives. That why you raise them up to be able to make it on thier own. It gets easier!! And now Tony and i have 2 amazing son in laws and the time we do spend with them is awesome! Tony loves retirement… although technically he is still running Taylor properties and keeps him busy. And i keep him busy! Ha! For comfy cozy try quince! They now have air essentials dupes and their cozy fleece is fabulous! I can send you the exact ones i have and LOVE! Happy Tuesday !!
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I love the holidays but I also get stressed out at the prospect of travel and the planning that takes. I wish we lived closer to family. There’s so much pressure for parents to DO IT ALL with young kids and I don’t think October-December can be one big party and we can end up with well-adjusted kids at the end. Like, it’s not possible.
Anyway, I hope the sale of the house goes through smoothly! And I’m glad it’s not your actual childhood home. That’d be rougher, emotionally, you know?
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That is a lot! I wonder if you will feel differently this year since you aren’t a teacher in a school. I would say pick only the things that are important to your family and don’t try to do all the things. You are good at that so I don’t think you will have a problem.
Thank you! Yes, we have said that many times. It was really hard saying bye to our childhood home 19 years ago but we still have a close neighbor we can visit and see our old house. This is different. But, it’s also the end of any homebase in our hometown. We had a 50 year run – moving there in 1975.
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That German cooking class sounds like fun! I do think it is just wonderful that you and your sisters have gotten along so well in settling your parents’ estate. That is definitely not the case for so many families! Change is hard and you have had a lot of change this year between retiring, being a 1/2 empty nester, saying goodbye to old holiday traditions, etc. that I think it is completely understandable not to be excited for the holidays and to battling some (or even a lot of) sadness over it all.
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I’m excited! I think we have. Yes, you really hear some horror stories! I think and hope I will come around and be excited but for now I am in my feelings and I think that’s ok, too.
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I have heard about the roof issue on a lot of home sales. Apparently homeowner’s insurance will not insure a house with a roof of a certain age so either the buyer or seller has to replace in order for a new policy to be writen. It sounds like the holidays this year will be different and a challenge in some ways. Isn’t it funny to think of yourself as the matriarch? Your departure from teaching reminds me of mine many years ago. After 10 years at the same school, I left with 2 or 3 friendships and rarely went back to the school. Life comes in phases, and I had to realize it was ok to move on to the next phase without feeling guilty about leaving the previous one behind. Enjoyed the coffee talk.
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Well that makes me feel better about the roof. But, I was at peace with our decision.
I will get my head on straight and get excited for my kids and nieces and nephews and my sisters – don’t worry! I just need to process, I think. It is so funny and weird. We don’t have super close relationships with aunts and uncles because they live far away so they haven’t really stepped in.
Such good statements. Even Erica hasn’t been great about staying in touch which kind of shocks me but we don’t have the common thread anymore.
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I loved reading this. Retirement and adult kids have to be such a big transition. I loved reading your thoughts on retirement because I know even thought I’m sure it’s so wonderful, it’s a big change! I was just telling my friend I could teach forever …but it’s all the other stuff that I’m over/don’t prioritize (ex: my PGP 🤣)
Cooking class sounds so fun! I will be thinking of you all during the holidays.
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Oh gosh – the silly PGP! Yes, I get that about teaching forever. I think I retired at the right time for me considering what I had going on but it’s still such a change in my identity.
I’m excited about the cooking class and I am going to work on having a fun holiday my way.
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Definitely a change in identity…that’s a good way of putting it. I will get there one day 🤣
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You will! It’s a weird feeling but it’s also empowering!
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I am glad the sell of the house has gone fairly smooth. Mine has not, but I am making progress. But I moved anyway! This will be a year of transition with the holidays for sure and making some new traditions will begin. I feel like I am in this stage too and each year will look different for the next few years. Hugs to you!
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