Tuesday, November 19. 2024

Ok, let’s talk turkey. Lol.

What to Wear:

First check temps and then think about what you will be doing. Do you stay in the kitchen? Do you hang outside? How formal is your family or the group you will be with?

You can’t go wrong with a blouse that keeps you cool. You can pair it with a skirt and boots, nicer jeans, or pants. You can bring a wrap for going outside.

Or you can do a blouse in dress form which is just a dress.

These are some contenders for me.

Just remember you need to be comfortable because nothing will put you in a worse mood than if you are hot and itchy.

What to Bring:

Bring whatever the host has assigned you. Sometimes the host will get ‘mad’ if you bring more or vary from the assignment. I have gotten in trouble before for bringing too much. Seriously.

Most hosts would be touched by a ‘thank you for hosting” gift that can be opened later, but don’t go overboard.

I have given my sister in law a candle, seasonal hand soap or something to get ready for Christmas, and this year I gave her the turkey leg spoon rest!

It is a lot of work to host and I want them to know I appreciate them. Even if it’s a family member, I think it’s worth treating them as well as you would anyone not in your family.

If you are the host, be gracious about any gifts brought and just say thank you to the extras. It’s really no big deal.

What to Say:

Maybe call or text and ask if there is any last minute item they need. A bag of ice? Some hosts fear running out of ice.

If your host is prickly or if there is tension always start with a compliment. It’s hard to stay prickly when someone gives you a genuine compliment.

If you are the host, don’t run yourself ragged. Delegate. You don’t want to be in a bad mood when people show up.

Say positive things. Don’t be a Negative Nancy. Do not bring up politics or anything controversial. Don’t ask young marrieds when they will have a baby. Do not ask the 20 somethings when they will get a boyfriend, fiance, etc.

“What’s good with you lately?” is a nice way to ask someone about their life while keeping a positive spin on things.

Keep in mind that many teens today will say or think; “why are we celebrating colonization and cultural appropriation of native Americans with a dry bird?”

What to Do:

Come at the assigned time. Don’t outstay your welcome. Ask what you can do to help. Offer to collect plates, load dishwasher, put leftovers into containers, things like that.

Give people a chance to act better this year and don’t just assume they are a lost cause. We all have things that bother us but try to let those things roll off this year.

Or, as my sister suggested, try a secret drinking game. Everyone drinks whenever certain buzz words are said.

What would you add to this list? Just remember that no family is perfect and that we all have our stuff. The pressure is great to be perfect on a holiday and it’s just not reality.

Amy

29 thoughts on “Thanksgiving – What to Wear, Bring, Say, Do”

  1. I don’t mind so much when they bring extras but it is really annoying when someone says they’ll bring a dish like sweet potatoes and show up with something like coffee instead (true story; that has happened to me!).. I wouldn’t have minded a different vegetable/side substitution but that threw me. LOL Luckily it’s always been just family so we roll with it and make do and then use those as funny stories for later years. This year the only one coming is my mother in law so it will be real low key and easy.

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    1. That is really out of left field and rude, to be honest. Do you think they forgot? I have more stories but I can’t tell them because the people read my blog! lol!

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      1. LOL! Yeah, I’m pretty lucky that my family doesn’t read mine… or those blogs I comment on so I feel like I can say pretty much what I want (within reason!) but no, that is pretty much par for the course with my family. I also used to be much more uptight and feel like somehow it was my fault when something went wrong but clearly my whole family knew it wasn’t– especially since they were usually a bit late to arrive. I’ve definitely mellowed out about nearly everything. But I fully admit this like that are one of the reasons I stopped hosting whole family get togethers that aren’t casual BBQ’s outside by the lake in summer. Well, that and the fact that I hosted every single holiday all year long for 10 years and had just had enough.

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      2. Haha
        You are lucky and you are also lucky I can’t tell all my stories online! You can’t pick your family! Lol!
        I have also mellowed but I will say that a family member made me cry most Thanksgivings!

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    1. We have already gotten 50 texts from my mom about what types of pie we want and why so “pie” is definitely one of our secret drinking game buzz words.
      I agree! thus the need for the short sleeved/3/4 sleeve tops in fall colors! Amen!

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  5. Great advice, Amy! I especially appreciate the what to say section and I love the line about what our woke little teens think about the holiday. 😂

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  6. I loved all of this advice, but I really loved what you said about what not to say to young people who are newlyweds or in their 20’s and single. People in my exes family could stand to read this, particularly my MIL and FIL. I would always get irritated when they would pester my sons with questions like, “So when are you ever going to start to date someone?” as if being young and single is a bad thing. I would always speak up for them and just tell them that they were content with their current life and to please not make them feel bad for what was obvious. I’m rolling my eyes.

    If there’s one thing I have to be grateful for this year, it’s that there will be zero tension during the holidays this year! Both you know who and his parents are not easy to be around, and I was always nervous over what someone would say to someone else. I have to look on the bright side, right??

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    1. That is so obnoxious, right? I try to be positive with my nieces and nephews. I see them so little that I want to be a source of joy.
      There you go – you should hear my sister talk about how she has no in laws to deal with (twice divorced) – she is so happy!

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  7. I love your 2 choices of outfits: depending on the weather I will wear what I have planned or not: we spend Thanksgiving break at the beach so I usually am quite relaxed but I like to dress up for our little dinner. When we did Thanksgiving with family, I would tell everyone what to bring. Before that it was at my husband’s grandmother and everyone just communicated with each other. I enjoyed it then, but did not enjoy hosting it myself.

    http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com

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  8. What a great list. This year we will be in Nashville and Grace is “hosting.” I will try to remember all these tips, since I am usually the host instead of the guest. Also, I long for the days when money, politics and religion were not discussed in polite company. 🙂

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  9. have Thanksgiving with friends – not family! Haha !! we will be heading to the coast house and having our daughter and SIL over. Kelsey and I split the food decisions and it’s always casual fun! Taylor will go to her fiancé’s family in Carmel. Have a fabulous Thanksgiving!!

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  10. Thanksgiving is pretty chill at our house. It’s just us and our kids and their families. I always ask what they want to bring, but even if they didn’t, we’d still have plenty. I don’t keep the leftovers (except for some of the smoked turkey and pumpkin cake) so everyone goes home happy. We usually play board or card games after the meal. Now that the grands are teens, I think they’ll probably be on their devices while the old people are playing games. I don’t think there will be any awkward conversations as we’re around each other all the time. I never know what I’m going to wear until I put it on! I should tell them they need to bring me a hostess gift…hahaha!!

    https://marshainthemiddle.com/

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    1. It sounds like you have created that chill environment. My mom is difficult and has made many a Thanksgiving harder and less enjoyable than need be. I bet the teens will play with you and enjoy it. They should bring you a gift. Sounds like they have a great relationship with you. I would love to hear more abour your family. Maybe I should scour your blog?

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