Tuesday, March 12, 2024

I often tell my students that the longest relationship they will have in their lifetimes is with themselves.

How do you speak to yourself?

Are you kind to yourself?

Here are things I do for myself that I equate with being kind to myself:

Candles – I light a candle in the morning, evening, or when I sit outside. I’ve been trying to “use up” old candles and haven’t bought one for quite a while, but I will buy a new one soon.

Warm drinks – Ahh, when it hits just the right temperature is there anything better than drinking coffee or tea?

Clothing myself – in things that make me feel great and not clothing myself in stiff, scratchy fabrics, ill-fitting garb, etc.

Time – I give myself the gift of morning quiet time, after school quiet time, unhurried time when I can.

Say NO and not over-fill my calendar – I know that my job is intense and full of people and decisions. Teachers make about 1500 decisions a day. That’s why I like routine and I already have my list of meals written out for me. I want to automate as much at school and home as possible. So, I don’t say yes to everything because I know I need down time.

Smells – I give myself good smells. I love nice smelling shower products and this is important to me. I like nice smelling lotions, too. This is why I splurge on Diva laundry liquid.

Laughing – I laugh every day. This is why I love my favorite funny podcast! Watch What Crappens makes fun of Bravo shows. I know they are good for a laugh if I haven’t had much to laugh about that day. I also laugh at myself and don’t beat myself up for the goofs I make on the regular.

Cooking – I cook for myself almost as much as I cook for Tom and my kids. I really enjoy the act of cooking and I’m proud of myself when I cook something great. I like the act of chopping. I’m so happy that I can feed myself the foods that I enjoy.

Exercising or taking walks – This is one I am working to incorporate in a more routine way. I know this is one of the kindest things I can do for my present and future self. I am also trying to walk with Tom because I think it’s good for us and a great way to talk.


Reading- I give myself the gift of time to read.

Nurturing my relationships – I am kind to myself by allowing myself to nurture my marriage, my relationships with my kids, and all my other relationships. That may sound odd, but they require work and care. and even the constant re-evaluating of what stage you are in with that relationship.

Maybe I am getting off topic a bit with my list…but have you been kind to yourself lately?

One thing I think we can all do to be kinder is to stay off social media or reduce our time on it. Sometimes I think it evokes the worst emotions in us. Comparison is the thief of joy, right? For some reason, I don’t think blogs do that to me. I do get ideas from reading blogs, though!

How have you been kind to yourself lately? Any recommendations?

Amy

27 thoughts on “How were you kind to yourself lately?”

  1. Yeah, I don’t use social media at all (other than Pinterest for recipe, cardmaking, crafting ideas).. I don’t watch the news either because I find that really negatively impacts my mental status. Between blogging and socializing I always know what’s going on the world anyway and I can always Google a topic if I want to learn more about it.

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    1. That’s great! You are not missing anything! I am the same with the news. After the pandemic, the news was too triggering for me. The death count in my state was down right morbid.

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  4. I enjoyed reading this! I agree on the importance of doing things to bring joy. I do a lot of what you mentioned as well, just because they’re things that make me happy. It’s important for me to have things to look forward to, so I always look forward to the end of a day with Todd; we unwind by watching a show together that’s funny, and it’s been the best thing. Even if he watches a show that I don’t love, I’ll read while we’re in the same room, which still feels like we’re doing something together. I read an article many years ago about taking care of our marriage, especially at this stage of life, when the kids are grown. Lord willing, we have lots and lots of years ahead of us still!

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    1. Thank you! It’s been on my mind over the last week with my sadness. I’ve been focusing on being there for Tom which has made me feel good but I’ve also done lots to help myself!

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  5. Good morning Amy-this is a wonderful post reminding us all to be kind to ourselves. I want to thank you again for giving me your insights on things to do while visiting your area. We had a wonderful time visiting Louisville and included several of your recommendations along the way. Your kindness by taking the time to reach out with suggestions was greatly appreciated. Kindness is contagious and what better way is there than to start with ourselves! Thank you and happy Wednesday!

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  6. I love all of this! Such a good reminder to be kind to ourselves and you are doing well! I agree that reading blogs gives such a different feel than other social media. I love the encourgement in this community and building one another up. Enjoy your afternoon!

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  7. I see blogs as more of a community than I do with social media. My list of self care is similar – candles (and wax melts), walks, time outside, and reading. I have also been trying to use older candles!

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  8. This is such a thoughtful post. I love it. I do think giving myself “me” time in the morning is a great gift I give myself. I need quiet to start my day. I also think working out but also getting my manicure and facials every month are also ways I am kind to myself.

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    1. Aww, thank you. It’s been on my mind lately. Yes – that is so true. I started giving myself time to wake up before the kids did a long, long time ago and I found I was a more patient and better mother. Definitely! You deserve that!

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  9. You honestly write the best posts, Amy! They make me think and feel. I work very hard at being kind to others yet am so awful to myself at times. I think we probably all are. I’m kind to myself when I go through my skincare routines in the morning and evening. I know they’re a little much, and probably not even necessary, but I do them for me. I also splurge on Jo Malone hand cream when Macy’s has their Friends and Family events. I love using that little bit of grapefruit hand cream right before turning out the light. I do get a facial every month, but I need to probably stop that as it’s so expensive. I could go to the Aveda school and get one there for much, much less. But, I really enjoy talking to my aesthetician. 

    Thanks for a lovely post, Amy!

    https://marshainthemiddle.com/

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    1. Wow – what a compliment! Thank you so much. You are worth being kind to. I don’t have that kind of skin routine and yes, that is a form of kindness. That is why you have such beautiful skin.
      I challenge you to do another kind thing for yourself this week – let me know what you do!

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  10. For a starter, I never watch/listen to news. I still get information about the most important stuff that happens in the world (hard to avoid!). I’ve never been interested in news and have always felt a bit ashamed of it… but suddenly I’m doing the right thing! Maybe I unconsciously avoided news because I felt it wasn’t good for me?

    I always thought meditation wasn’t for me, but after reading Atomic Habits by James Clear (read it!) I decided to try two minutes in the morning Mon-Thu. And… I have no scientific proof but I’m quite sure I have become more resilient! For sure! Two minutes!

    And luckily I’ve never been very interested in social media… I’ve never used FaceBook! But I do indulge in my blogs, I follow two American blogs (one is VERY good!) and two Swedish.

    Thank you for a great post!

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    1. Same – no news for me, either!
      I have read it. My friend wants me to go to a meditation class on Sunday mornings!
      Tell me your other non-very good American blog name and your Swedish blog names!
      Ha – Thank you!

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      1. Maybe a full meditation class is a bit too much…? I would do yoga if I had a full hour to spend on my well being!

        I think you’ve already checked my Swedish blogs? You thought they were very stylish as I recall it… This one is full of beautiful pictures (she’s married to an immensely wealthy man) https://sofifahrman.elle.se

        The other American one is totally crazy (talking about wealthy people) but is still inspiring for a middle class person like me mixandmatchmama.com – and listen to this! That’s where I found your blog in the comment section! I just loved your name and checked it out immediately!

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  11. I have to work to be kind to myself too – I think most women do :( I have transitioned from watching the news to just reading it and now, well, I really need to limit myself. I struggle with this too – it’s important to know what’s true and what’s going on, but there’s so much misinformation and anger and hate out there that I find myself demoralized.

    I also burn candles (whenever I’m home, any time of day) and buy myself grocery store flowers every week. I also have a hard and fast rule that I spend one day a week in NYC – I moved from there to a suburb just outside when my kids were school age and miss it every single day- to soak up the energy and do whatever I want to do. Hoping to get back to yoga too.

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    1. I agree! And, I also agree about the news. I am a highly sensitive person and it was upsetting me too much. I need to buy more flowers, for sure! I love that goal. Do you keep a list of what you will do in NYC with each visit?

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  12. I don’t keep a list – I sometimes go see the galleries or a museum if there’s something I like, sometimes I see friends, and sometimes I take myself out to breakfast and book shopping in my old neighborhood. I mostly wing it 😉

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