Wednesday, October 25, 2023

Photo by Askar Abayev on Pexels.com

Now is the time for those holiday conversations. In fact, it’s probably past the time!

One of the best books I ever read and that greatly impacted me when I was a mom with young kids was Unplug the Christmas Machine. I highly recommend reading this book!

We are not buying gifts this year due to our trip. Jack suggested we each look for a small gift for each other on the trip and I thought that was really sweet.

But first…

Let’s start with Thanksgiving…

Have you talked about who is hosting? If it is you, delegate. Even if it is only family, people do want to contribute. Maybe they suck at cooking? They can bring dessert paper plates, napkins, Solo cups, rolls, drinks. If you are ever assigned these items, that means you can’t cook. Just kidding!

Set a budget. What is most important? If you know the family really cares about a certain dish, then that is a non-negotiable. But, if they really aren’t big into the turkey, you can outsource that or just do a breast or something easier. If they don’t really care about homemade cranberry sauce and they like seeing the can indentations on the stuff that slides off a plate, then you can just do that.

If you are the host, give people an arrival window and a time for the meal. If you know the people tend to be late, then tell them earlier! We all have some of those, right?

I think a theme would be so fun. What about “70s Thanksgiving” – ha! What about everyone wear something orange? That could make for funny photos.

If the weather is nice, encourage people to hang out outside. Bring a tv outside so people can watch football and stay out of your hair.

So, after Thanksgiving, we have about a month until Christmas.

Photo by Mat Brown on Pexels.com

Most of the Thanksgiving stuff applies for Christmas, but I think you can be more flexible with your meal. I like the idea of appetizers only for Christmas Eve and that can include a ham and buns for people to make a sandwich. I like a brunch on Christmas Day. Last year, we did a pasta bar the day after Christmas at my mom’s and it was a big hit! I did a “butter board” for the bread one person brought, each of us brought a pasta bake, my mom did spaghetti sauce and spaghetti, and one person brought the salad. It was a hit with the kids that outnumber the adults, too!

Now remember for both Thanksgiving and Christmas to use grocery pick up or delivery services. This is the time! It will save you so much time and energy!

When you add up decor, wrapping supplies, food, the gifts it can be staggering. With the increase in food, gas, and just the cost of living in general, you may have to/want to scale back your budget. And, what about if you have family members who are struggling? It might be better for you to scale back just so they don’t feel badly.

In my family, we only did grandparents and kid gifts starting many years ago. As the family grew, it just wasn’t possible to do gifts for all. On my side of the family, we have the cousins draw other cousins’ names out of a hat and then they are supposed to observe them on Thanksgiving and think about a gift they might like. We have done the same for adults some years, but in recent years, we have done “white elephant” gifts for the adults. We bring something from our house that we don’t want that is wrapped and then play “Dirty Santa”. The kids have sat around and watched and we have had some laughs. This has been fun in the years since we lost my Dad because he was such a big part of the holidays. I think we all needed a new tradition and something to laugh about. My sister also wrote down all my Dad’s quotes and we enjoyed those.

If you have lost a loved one, think about changing up the holiday in some way. I think it really helps. Gosh, I still can’t believe my Dad is not with us and that this year will mark 5 years. Depending on how long it’s been, your family might appreciate a tribute to the person or their photo at the table. Everyone is different and I think you just have to gauge the comfort level.

I love the “something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read” and tried to do that for my kids. We also are big stocking people and I may take our stockings/or use socks on our trip. They would definitely laugh if I did that.

I also liked to do themes and some years my grandparent gifts would be cozy stuff for winter, personalized stationery, or an experience.

I am not your girl for tons of Amazon links, but I hope I have given you something to think about and a few ideas.

Leave your best tips and ideas in the comments and I might re-visit this topic and publish them.

Amy

19 thoughts on “Now is the time…”

  1. We will be in Greece this year for Thanksgiving – without our kids! It will be my first Thanksgiving without my boys. I was thinking we might have a dinner with them before we leave but who knows! I think your tips are all so good Amy and I am so excited for your trip!
    xo,
    Kellyann

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  2. We are traditional Thanksgiving and Christmas people. With a blended families, we do Dad’s on the day after Thanksgiving, and Mom’s on Thanksgiving. And on Christmas, we spend Eve with Dad and the day with Mom. He planned it that way many years ago to release us from the guilt of having to choose with parent to spend the day with and to make it predictable year after year. I appreciate that so much! We spent a day with my in-love’s a few days before Christmas, like on the 21st or something. We had an Italian themed Christmas last year at Mom’s and it was a huge hit! We’re starting to talk about this now, for what we’ll do this year. I’d love to do this again. On Christmas eve this year we’re having appetizers and desserts. I’m excited about this! Those are our favorite kinds of foods!

    What will you do with Ernie while y’all are gone? Maybe someone can stay at your house with him? Also, I laughed over your “I am not your gift guide links kind of person”, because neither am I! I don’t mind linking up one of two things I love, but gift guides seem too overwhelming and time consuming.

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    1. That is so great of your dad and that you have kept it up for all these years! You are lucky to all be in the same town which makes that easier. None of us are in the same town on my side. Tom has his sister here. I love your ideas for this year.
      Ernie will have a dogsitter/housesitter stay here. We think he is much more comfortable.

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  3. I can’t bring myself to even think about Christmas this year. We lost my dad last year on Christmas Day, to covid, and it is still so surreal. We’re having Thanksgiving at my house and I’m doing all of the traditional foods. My mother enjoys that so will do for her. Your trip sounds like it will be wonderful!

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    1. I’m so sorry! There are no rules that you have to “do Christmas” but if there are kids I guess that makes it hard. We had to do much of the same for my mom’s sake, too. There’s no way around the fact that my Dad’s absence is felt deeply, but I was also pleasantly surprised by still enjoying the kids and the new white elephant we started.

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    1. He isn’t really into the white elephant and don’t get him started on what he thinks of garage sales. He says he buys his s#*t because he wants it and doesn’t want to get rid of it or he wouldn’t have bought it and he really doesn’t want other peoples’ crap.
      He is a barrel of fun!

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  5. Love this approach to the holidays, and I appreciate the lack of shopping links. Some blogs I’ve enjoyed in the past, now seem to be entirely devoted to shopping. As someone trying to buy less, that gets old after a while. Spending time with your people is what it’s about! Sorry about your Dad. This will be the first Thanksgiving and Christmas without my Mom, we need to make a new plan to make it “easier”. More wine? Ha. Have a great day!

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    1. Thank you! Yup, I don’t have many! I agree. It’s quite disappointing. It’s their job now, so I get that. Thank you and I’m sorry about your mom. More wine can also make you sadder – hypothetically speaking! Is there a way to change up the traditions this year?

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      1. You’re right, definitely not a good idea to overindulge when you’re already a bit down. My sister is going to host, which will be a nice change of scenery. Mostly worried about my Dad, but we’ll help him through it. On a lighter note, your press on nails are inspiring me. They look fantastic, and lasted much longer than I would have expected. Have a great week, Amy!

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  6. These are such good tips! Thanksgiving will be different this year because it will just be the four of us. My in-laws are going out of town. I have to say I’m looking forward to it, and I’m not even sure we’ll do the traditional foods. We always decorate sugar cookies on Christmas Eve, then have an appetizer spread for dinner. Christmas Day is always cinnamon rolls for breakfast and then some kind of lunch/dinner with the family. We are also big stocking people. We have always done one “big” gift for each kid, but this year we are planning to have smaller gifts. Yes, the cost of living increases right now make me think twice about everything.

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  7. I quit cooking the turkey a few years ago. We order a smoked turkey from City BBQ…nice and easy. Everyone (there are only 10 of us, including the kids) brings something as a side or appetizer. I usually do a couple of desserts that just make the holiday as far as everyone’s concerned. For Christmas, we do different things. One year, we did build your own pizza, another was pasta. I’m not sure about this year. We don’t do anything special for Christmas Eve which kinda makes me sad.

    As far as gifts, gift giving is my love language, and I go way overboard. Unfortunately, most retailers are severely limiting returns right now so I can’t buy early. I ask my people for lists. Last year, I gave all three grands a crisp $100 bill…the look on their faces! I do spend a lot, but it’s just my kids, bonus kids, and grands. We quit buying gifts for extended families years ago.

    I definitely think you should take the stockings to the UK! I always find a bag of coal (it’s actually candy) for my grandson’s stocking. It just wouldn’t be Christmas without it.

    Have a wonderful end to the week!

    https://marshainthemiddle.com/

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    1. Good for you – very smart! It sounds like you have a good plan. I love gift giving but I’m also excited not to do it this year.
      I will try to find a way to fit them and surprise my family.

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  8. Love these tips! If you can, I think you should bring the stockings on your trip 😆 I love a theme too. I started buying some of the same gifts for my mom, trav’s mom, etc and that helps. The holidays will be here before we know it.

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  9. Some of us have sticky family situations that make holidays so darn difficult…. I envy those who celebrate with thier families and have big gatherings. Sadly, we aren’t one of those families. We will be celebrating thanksgiving with just my mom at our country club and then cmas eve we will celebrate with our close friends and youngest daughter. My mom will come over on cmas day for a late lunch.

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