Wednesday, October 25, 2023

Now is the time for those holiday conversations. In fact, it’s probably past the time!
One of the best books I ever read and that greatly impacted me when I was a mom with young kids was Unplug the Christmas Machine. I highly recommend reading this book!
We are not buying gifts this year due to our trip. Jack suggested we each look for a small gift for each other on the trip and I thought that was really sweet.
But first…
Let’s start with Thanksgiving…
Have you talked about who is hosting? If it is you, delegate. Even if it is only family, people do want to contribute. Maybe they suck at cooking? They can bring dessert paper plates, napkins, Solo cups, rolls, drinks. If you are ever assigned these items, that means you can’t cook. Just kidding!
Set a budget. What is most important? If you know the family really cares about a certain dish, then that is a non-negotiable. But, if they really aren’t big into the turkey, you can outsource that or just do a breast or something easier. If they don’t really care about homemade cranberry sauce and they like seeing the can indentations on the stuff that slides off a plate, then you can just do that.
If you are the host, give people an arrival window and a time for the meal. If you know the people tend to be late, then tell them earlier! We all have some of those, right?
I think a theme would be so fun. What about “70s Thanksgiving” – ha! What about everyone wear something orange? That could make for funny photos.
If the weather is nice, encourage people to hang out outside. Bring a tv outside so people can watch football and stay out of your hair.
So, after Thanksgiving, we have about a month until Christmas.

Most of the Thanksgiving stuff applies for Christmas, but I think you can be more flexible with your meal. I like the idea of appetizers only for Christmas Eve and that can include a ham and buns for people to make a sandwich. I like a brunch on Christmas Day. Last year, we did a pasta bar the day after Christmas at my mom’s and it was a big hit! I did a “butter board” for the bread one person brought, each of us brought a pasta bake, my mom did spaghetti sauce and spaghetti, and one person brought the salad. It was a hit with the kids that outnumber the adults, too!
Now remember for both Thanksgiving and Christmas to use grocery pick up or delivery services. This is the time! It will save you so much time and energy!
When you add up decor, wrapping supplies, food, the gifts it can be staggering. With the increase in food, gas, and just the cost of living in general, you may have to/want to scale back your budget. And, what about if you have family members who are struggling? It might be better for you to scale back just so they don’t feel badly.
In my family, we only did grandparents and kid gifts starting many years ago. As the family grew, it just wasn’t possible to do gifts for all. On my side of the family, we have the cousins draw other cousins’ names out of a hat and then they are supposed to observe them on Thanksgiving and think about a gift they might like. We have done the same for adults some years, but in recent years, we have done “white elephant” gifts for the adults. We bring something from our house that we don’t want that is wrapped and then play “Dirty Santa”. The kids have sat around and watched and we have had some laughs. This has been fun in the years since we lost my Dad because he was such a big part of the holidays. I think we all needed a new tradition and something to laugh about. My sister also wrote down all my Dad’s quotes and we enjoyed those.
If you have lost a loved one, think about changing up the holiday in some way. I think it really helps. Gosh, I still can’t believe my Dad is not with us and that this year will mark 5 years. Depending on how long it’s been, your family might appreciate a tribute to the person or their photo at the table. Everyone is different and I think you just have to gauge the comfort level.
I love the “something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read” and tried to do that for my kids. We also are big stocking people and I may take our stockings/or use socks on our trip. They would definitely laugh if I did that.
I also liked to do themes and some years my grandparent gifts would be cozy stuff for winter, personalized stationery, or an experience.
I am not your girl for tons of Amazon links, but I hope I have given you something to think about and a few ideas.
Leave your best tips and ideas in the comments and I might re-visit this topic and publish them.
Amy




































































































